Divided No More...

I find it wholly appropriate that in the last chapter of the book and in the final throes of a busy and informative semester, I have had an epiphany of sorts reading chapter 7 that not only helps me find purpose in my vocation as an educator, but a more clearly focused lens by which I may look through for the ultimate goal of my doctoral research.

The great part is that my "movement" is driven by the same goals as the Catholic church I work for and go to school at for my graduate work. This movement is very simple. We are to help the poor and the marginalized. In our case it is within the realm of education.

I initially thought my movement, both in reading the first half of the chapter and in my Masters studies, was more aligned with the "inquiry-based-student/subject-centered-collaborative-constructivist" movement trying so desperately to break through to high schools and undergraduate "weeder" college courses. I suppose it still is when looking at the pedagogical methods that best serve the poor and the marginalized but my focus is more clear regardless.

The final page of our chapter sums up my feelings quite nicely:

"As we find our place in the movement, we will discover that there is no essential conflict between loving to teach and working to reform education. An authentic movement is not a play for power. It is teaching and learning writ large. Now the world becomes our classroom, and the potential to teach and learn is found everywhere. We need only be in the world as our true selves, with open hearts and minds" (Palmer, 2007, p. 190).

Palmer VI

This chapter really made me look at the way I interact with my colleagues on a daily basis. When Palmer said "the conventional norm of 'making nice' with each other, folded into the professional norm of competition, creates an ethos in which it feels dangerous to speak or listen" (Palmer, 2007, p. 154), I thought about a number of conversations I've had in various department offices, meetings and rooms throughout the last few years. Many others, and at times myself, neglect one of Palmer's "truths" stated as "the human soul does not want to be fixed, it simply wants to be seen and heard" (p. 156).

It is so easy to jump in and try to "fix" situational woes and complaints of co-workers. Once you've been in the "business" long enough, there are many scenarios you've been through that relate to the ongoing struggles of fellow teachers. There have been times when I've only wanted to vent and I was given unsolicited advice that I really didn't want to hear and conversely many situations where I've offered advice to someone when they didn't ask for it.

This chapter has really made me aware of that process and fueled a desire to remain a virtual "Switzerland" among the daily chatter we hear every single day in the world of education. I have much advice to give, but I plan to be more cautious I dispensing it without a prompt. I will also look to kindly say "thank you" and be polite when offered the seemingly endless barrage of advice given to me when I decide to share an intimate or vulnerable moment. I also need to make sure when I share those moments it is with someone who's advice I cherish and wish to hear if such advice is given to me.

Hopefully as our schools learn to embrace more collegiality and open discourse while dropping the overwhelming vibe of competition, I will be able to be less guarded in my sharing of personal, intimate and vulnerable experiences as an educator.

Teaching in Community II

The first section of the reading that stood out to me was the discussion of student vs. teacher-centered classrooms when Parker specifically mentioned "the way students are now learning by means of digital technology" (Palmer, 2007, p.121). Combined with his recollection of a time when he was contradicted by one of his students (p. 120), my thoughts were focused on the differences between my science and multimedia technology classes.

We have worked hard as a level to integrate as many student-centered, constructivist, inquiry-based activities as possible but the burden still remains that we prepare them for what they will be receiving at college and that is a teacher-centered lecture hall. Thus we try to reach a good mix as Palmer suggested (p. 119), and create a "subject-centered" classroom environment. The multimedia classes, however, are almost completely subject (AND student) oriented with a smattering of lecture-based teacher-centered instruction. I have to say that as much as I enjoy my biology classes, the student-centered environment is thrilling and I learn just about as much from my students as they do from me. We achieve knowledge as a group and they're gaining skills that will help them become life-long learners. It's fantastic!

As a matter of fact, the more I read this chapter, the more it seemed to speak to exactly the type of classroom we have in Multimedia Design 1A & 1B. When Palmer mentions that he needs to learn how to "trust that the community has the resources necessary to deal with the issue at hand" (p. 137) I am immediately reminded of the endless situations where one of the students in class has either filled in the gaps in my knowledge of the particular subject or design technique, or come up with entirely new knowledge to share with all of us. The latter usually involving them designing some sort of "how-to" tutorial for their peers that I post on my website for everyone to download.

It all makes for a fun and innovative way for teacher and students to increase knowledge and mastery. Needless to say, I enjoyed the practical implications of this chapter.

Teaching (and Learning) in Community

Chapter five really resonated with some of the issues I've been thinking about and discussing both at work and in one of my other classes. Communal learning groups are a fresh and effective approach to teaching and learning that applies not only to students, but the learning process for teachers as well.

Last week in my "Issues, Trends and Research in Digital Media and Learning" class with Dr. Baab we discussed the professional development of teachers with respect to new technologies and new ways of integrating web 2.0 standards like blogs, wikis and podcasts into curriculum.

The subject matter from that discussion is quite appropriate to Palmers message in Chapter 5. We talked about the traditional ways teachers are given professional development for technology which usually ends up being a "sit and get" session where the all knowing guru stands at the front and delivers the goods to the technophobe "lambs" in the audience. We then discussed some of the newer emerging methods and the most prominent in our discussions was the "Community of Practice" approach where a particular group or network of individuals with a common set of goals, beliefs, experiences, etc. get together to share and develop (technology usage for example) as a community.

My example to the group when we were discussing the topic was departments and levels meeting to use and discuss technology and how to integrate it into their curricula. This would foster better curriculum and help those on the various levels to share technology usage, methods and know-how with each other and bring those who may need some help understanding the new methods up to speed.

All-in-all I enjoyed this chapter and look to propose more "Communities of Practice" (MacDonald, 2008) in future meetings with my department and level. If you would like to read more about the subject here is the citation for the MacDonald article. Just a funny side note, the author's name is actually Ronald MacDonald. lol

MacDonald, R. J. (2008). Professional development for information communication technology integration: identifying and supporting a community of practice through design-based research. Journal of Research on Technology in Education, 40(4), 429-445.

A Plethora of Paradox

It took me a while to fully immerse myself in this weeks chapter due to the impending "death by abstraction" (p. 77) Palmer mentioned before grounding us in his discussion of practical application.

How many of us have had a similar conversation with a similar "Gang of Three" (p. 73) as Palmer did in his moment of unadulterated frustration? I was able to imagine not only myself in that situation but also the Palmer from the previous chapter trying to get the kid sitting "horizontal" in the back of his guest lecture to be engaged in his lecture. Is it because we care so much that we feel shunned when students don't want to accept the "gifts" we attempt to share with them in such situations?

How many of us have had the good AND the bad not only in separate sections of the same day, but within the very same class? I know I have and after reading this chapter I will try to embrace the awkward silences and charged situations more often with an open mind.

I thought it was poignant when he mentioned how we often resolve tension prematurely when "we ask and answer our own questions in the silence of the classroom, thus creating more silence" (Palmer, 2007, p. 88). I know I most often assume the student doesn't know the answer and jump in to help when there are probably many situations where they are simply trying to formulate their thoughts. I will make it a point of emphasis to "enjoy the silence" (Depeche Mode, 1990) more often and let the students struggle through the formulation of their responses.

Fear

This weeks reading created a mish-mash of thoughts in my head and there were many topics I noted and wrote some thoughts about. I apologize ahead of time if the following paragraphs aren't well connected to each other but there were many different things I wanted to respond to in Chapter 2.

The first thing I thought about was the undercurrent of fear mentioned by Palmer that creates divisive structures and how distancing ourselves from that fear would revolutionize education (Palmer, 2007, p.36). This immediately made me think of some of my colleagues and discussions I've had with others. While I agree that taking the fear out of the "system" would cause a revolution of sorts, I also wonder what that revolution would entail. Without fear of repercussions, would lazy teachers be driven to "pick up the slack?" Would teachers entrenched in listless top-down pedagogical methodology be inspired to try new things? Sometimes a little fear can help get someone off their keister and help them reach their full potential while a "please buy in" fear-free environment may perpetuate stale teachers doing just enough to get by and in the process deprive the students of their best possible learning experience.

The next topic I "waxed" on was the discussion of teachers blaming their students for their boring classrooms. When Palmer used the doctor analogy and said "the way we diagnose our students' condition will determine the kind of remedy we offer" (p. 42), I thought about all the toxic crap I've heard spewed from teachers mouths in both public and private school faculty lounges and various credential classes about "Students from Hell" and how a particular student "doesn't belong here." It drives me crazy to hear those kind of statements but only now do I realize that my fear of those with "power" in the faculty lounge has contributed to my safety in not speaking. I can assure you my fear is dissipating quickly but there is no easy way to tell someone they carry fear with them due to their inadequacies and that the situation is more about them and their ego than it is about their students.

I was also able to relate to Palmer's discussion of the Student from Hell in the back of that classroom in which he was a guest lecturer. I've had certain students throughout the years that just flat out hated my class. No matter how much I mixed things up or tried to make the class fun and exciting they continued to hate the class and most likely me. I remember trying so many times, often at the expense of the others who were engaged and enjoying the class immensely, to "reach" those students and to gain their acceptance. While I will not abandon that child in the future, I will certainly approach things differently and not internalize things quite as much. Again, the fear is dissipating.

I'm not even going to get into the "Broad Generalizations 101" course reader from the objectivism vs, subjectivism section as Justin covers that quite nicely in his blog post.


Finally, I was touched by the story of the shop teacher. My dad taught shop and industrial arts for decades and now I teach technology. My father has embraced technology and the story reminded me of him a little although he would have been far less resistant to the professional development opportunity.

Throughout the reading I was made far more cognizant of my own fears and look forward to harnessing and channeling them into the life-long process of becoming a better teacher.

The Heart of a Teacher

"Good teaching cannot be reduced to technique; good teaching comes from the identity and integrity of the teacher." (Palmer, 2007, p. 10)

When I thought about that quote for a while it really helped me remember some of the great teachers I had during my public school days back in Pittsburgh. I was using the wrong criteria when I had my "brain fart" in class and was unable to recall any of my memorable teachers. Mr. Macken, Mr. Murphy, Mr. Schweiger, Mrs. Hardy, Ms. Belton, Mr. Lang, Dr. Bevan, Mrs. Kravitz and especially MR. Kravitz all shared the common thread of the aforementioned quote.

That collective group of teachers had moxie. They had personality. They taught with passion. They had IT. They taught who they were.

I almost feel bad for slighting them. They put so much time into making me the person I am today that I should be sent to teacher "detention" for lack of appreciation. The sense of connectedness my fellow students and I had in each of those classes was obvious and apparent. Those teachers enjoyed being there and we enjoyed bieng in their respective classes.

After reading Chapter 1 I realized that all of them were, in one way or another, mentors to me and my craft. When I think of my love for coaching and extra-curriculars I immediately think about the endless hours Mr. Macken spent coaching and proctoring a plethora of different intramural sports for us. One of my favorite memories from high school was scoring the winning goal in the intramural hockey championship. I carry a little piece of Mr. Macken's charisma with me at each practice I coach during my season.

I could go on and on with similar stories. Ms. Belton reading us "The Hobbit", Mr. Lang always telling us to "choose", Dr. Bevan turning a bunch of tone-deaf jocks into a phenomenal Men's Chorus, Mr. Schweiger being flat-out WACKY and justifying his refusal to wear deodorant because it was OK to smell like a human while wearing crazy ties, and Mr. Kravitz just being so flat out cool we just wanted to be in his class each day are all little pieces of who I am today. When I teach who I am, a large part of me is actually teaching who they were.

I'm grateful to all of them. They shared their courage, their heart and their integrity and I'm better off because of it. Hopefully someday one of my students will come back and tell me they were inspired by something we did together in class. Until then I'll keep teaching who I am and paying the same passion forward that those great teachers paid to me.

With deodorant though...

Palmer Foreword and Introduction

As I began reading this week, I came across the second paragraph of the foreword where Palmer says "my Buddhist friends tell me this is not a good way to live" and I thought of Patrick reading this at the same time in another room far away from me with one eyebrow slightly raised while thumbing Rosary beads. (just kidding:)


Some of the statements in the foreword really had me thinking back to my days as a public school teacher though. When Palmer talked about the ever increasing emphasis and obsession with educational externals (p. xiv) such as the standardized testing of No Child Left Behind, it brought back many awful memories of days spent dealing with my special education students trying to cope with the unrealistic expectations of the standarized tests and the unsympathetic principal who couldn't understand why my kids were "bringing down her test scores." I swear those test scores were all that lady cared about in her professional life. It definitely created a situation where there was the same "lack of trust" Palmer touched on (p. xvii) when discussing trust in schools.

It was a bit of a paradox though when Palmer used Byrk and Schneider's research to justify relational trust in schools when their research used the very same standardized tests as a measure of achievement that Palmer was discrediting only a couple of pages earlier.


Finally, it brought back many of the "keepin' it real" moments with those incredible middle school children I taught in the beginning of my career when Palmer referred to the child in the "Emperor's New Clothes" that "do not care what graduate school you attended, who chaired your dissertation committee, or how many books you have written, but they quickly sense if you are real, and they respond accordingly" (p. 7). It took a great deal of patience but those years contained some of the most rewarding experiences of my life and without them I would not be the teacher I am today.

The Joy of Vulnerabilities

There was a particular quote from our readings this week that reverberated in the back of my head somewhat like hearing a perfectly played chord on a guitar: "The more attuned we are to the needs of our students, the more unsure we are of what they or we actually achieve." (p. 63) I've often had thoughts similar to this statement as I try to differentiate learning for students in my freshman biology class that range from freshly diagnosed LD all the way to gifted students that will someday have a courseload of 4 AP classes. As I strive to meet them all in the middle, I often become much more aware of both the need to remediate for my LD students while simultaneously providing extension oportunities for the gifted students that otherwise may become bored and disinterested. Situations like these often have me looking within to examine exactly what they are getting out of the class and "what I'm actually achieving."

The image above is the first thing that popped into my head as I was digesting both the "vulnerabilities" of chapter 6 and the "joys" in chapter 7 and the dilemma posed above. What I was able to figure out from these chapters was that the very same vulnerabilities discussed in the readings are often (ironically) the fuel for the "joyous" fire that burns within all of us as educators and administrators. When Durka said "The journey of life is full of surprises. Sometimes they are joyful, but at other times we want a little more direction" (p. 74) I immediately thought of the uncertainty we often face in educational settings like the one I mentioned above.

Through it all though, we are blessed to work in such an amazing field. Despite the vulnerable situations we put ourselves in every day, the joy that results from our situational uncertainties is able to provide a fulfilling inner AND outer journey. Gloria summarized my opinion best when she stated "We realize that we do what we do because we feel called to do it. It is for us a source of joy. And we give thanks for it." (p. 80)

Because we care... Durka Pgs. 39-59

As I began our readings for the week, I was again drawn into Durka's stance on the benefits of generative and transformative learning and learning spaces. While I agree wholeheartedly that this type of learning is an incredible tool for creating honest and open learning environments I'm left with some questions.

I would like to ask Durka how it's possible to ready our students for the environment they'll be facing as undergrads at various universities around the world without the large amount of transmissive teaching that is currently necessary to "cover the material". Should we not cover the material fully? Is it not ironic how very little generative and transformative instruction they'll receive at the undergraduate college level? She does a great job of showing the true benefits of transformative and generative environments, but I'd like a little more concrete advice on exactly how to implement the practices while still giving the students the material, tools, and knowledge they'll need to compete and succeed when they become freshmen at very competitive universities.

Gloria's discussion of "style" and later in the readings of being "moral counsel" and caring for our students also threw me into a reflective state. When she quoted Kierkegaard (1941) as saying "teaching is not a question of making true utterance but of uttering the truth in such a way that students want to embrace it" I immediately thought of the great teachers I've had in the past that pulled me in with their caring and honest style.

When Durka said "the extensiveness of our caring for the well being of our students is a measure of the richness of our own spirituality" (p. 51) I thought she summarized much of the moral, caring, and spiritual knowledge we've had in our course to date. I hope to use that mantra to reach out to my students who need it the most the same way the rabbi "ascended to Heaven" when helping the old woman and her sick son (pgs.53-54).

Response to Durka Readings

There were many parts of Durka's book that activated both the memory and creative centers in my brain. The first thing that struck me was her mentioning that 15 years of teaching are 15 totally different experiences. While I agree with that, I simultaneously disagree with her assertion that we should "throw out our plan books" at the end of each year. I feel there is a fine balance to be struck between starting each year fresh and realizing the unique aspects of each new class, but in my opinion it would be foolish to just throw the plans from the previous years away.

I was also thrown into "deep thought" when Durka quoted Palmer and began speaking to our topic from last week's reading on transmissive vs. generative/transformative learning. I can totally see the transmissive aspects of my school in full gear as many of my colleagues "train" the incoming freshman to be socialized into our "way of life", act well-behaved and under control in the classroom, and sit there quietly as we "pass information" to them.

To be "troth-ful", I was intrigued to learn that the root of being a tutor or "paedagogus" was literally to be a 1-to-1 aide/slave. I found it ironic and very strange that ancient teacher-aides were slaves. Hmmm...

I also enjoyed reading about Sylvia Ashton-Warner's classroom and how she used creativity to combat destructiveness. As a former special education teacher, I was able to relate to the usage of inquiry-based pedagogy to engage highly destructive students in fun learning activities.

Finally, the graduate student's reflection of their father not only reminded me of my own father, but many of the "old school" teachers I've worked with over the last decade.

What is Spirituality?

Spirituality is the life-fuel that keeps my attitude positive and energized in my daily workings as an educator. It's hard to "define" or quantify spirituality, but I see it every day. I see spirituality in my students, my colleagues and my administrators. It becomes apparent through the small acts of kindness each of those different groups give to each other every day. Through teaching, learning, coaching, tutoring, helping, cleaning, composting and many many more, I see true spirituality shining through.