Fear

This weeks reading created a mish-mash of thoughts in my head and there were many topics I noted and wrote some thoughts about. I apologize ahead of time if the following paragraphs aren't well connected to each other but there were many different things I wanted to respond to in Chapter 2.

The first thing I thought about was the undercurrent of fear mentioned by Palmer that creates divisive structures and how distancing ourselves from that fear would revolutionize education (Palmer, 2007, p.36). This immediately made me think of some of my colleagues and discussions I've had with others. While I agree that taking the fear out of the "system" would cause a revolution of sorts, I also wonder what that revolution would entail. Without fear of repercussions, would lazy teachers be driven to "pick up the slack?" Would teachers entrenched in listless top-down pedagogical methodology be inspired to try new things? Sometimes a little fear can help get someone off their keister and help them reach their full potential while a "please buy in" fear-free environment may perpetuate stale teachers doing just enough to get by and in the process deprive the students of their best possible learning experience.

The next topic I "waxed" on was the discussion of teachers blaming their students for their boring classrooms. When Palmer used the doctor analogy and said "the way we diagnose our students' condition will determine the kind of remedy we offer" (p. 42), I thought about all the toxic crap I've heard spewed from teachers mouths in both public and private school faculty lounges and various credential classes about "Students from Hell" and how a particular student "doesn't belong here." It drives me crazy to hear those kind of statements but only now do I realize that my fear of those with "power" in the faculty lounge has contributed to my safety in not speaking. I can assure you my fear is dissipating quickly but there is no easy way to tell someone they carry fear with them due to their inadequacies and that the situation is more about them and their ego than it is about their students.

I was also able to relate to Palmer's discussion of the Student from Hell in the back of that classroom in which he was a guest lecturer. I've had certain students throughout the years that just flat out hated my class. No matter how much I mixed things up or tried to make the class fun and exciting they continued to hate the class and most likely me. I remember trying so many times, often at the expense of the others who were engaged and enjoying the class immensely, to "reach" those students and to gain their acceptance. While I will not abandon that child in the future, I will certainly approach things differently and not internalize things quite as much. Again, the fear is dissipating.

I'm not even going to get into the "Broad Generalizations 101" course reader from the objectivism vs, subjectivism section as Justin covers that quite nicely in his blog post.


Finally, I was touched by the story of the shop teacher. My dad taught shop and industrial arts for decades and now I teach technology. My father has embraced technology and the story reminded me of him a little although he would have been far less resistant to the professional development opportunity.

Throughout the reading I was made far more cognizant of my own fears and look forward to harnessing and channeling them into the life-long process of becoming a better teacher.